Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Check out dat ass. Haha. Living life in e Swiss is a bliss.
flickr
Martel is definately not worth $1288. But friendships are worth more than a bottle of martel. Cheers.
I wonder wad will happen if i email dis following statement to all my colleagues. HAha. ops. But well, dun worry.... I'm not dat crazie yet. HA.
Dear Staff,
Dress Code:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Gold chain, Nike sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag
we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a
raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so
that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.
Annual Leave:
Each employee will receive 104 annual leave days a year. They are
called Saturday & Sunday.
Lunch Hours:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that
they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain
their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed
to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
Sick Leave:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you
are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Restroom Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a
strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes,
an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door
will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your
picture will be posted on the company bulletin category.
By Order.
Management
